I only have a few years left to live. I don’t want to spend them dead.
Professor Farnsworth. (Futurama).
You can’t have sex with someone you care about; sex is for making babies or having revenge.
Jordan Sullivan. (Scrubs).
Call me old-fashioned, but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating.
Bender. (Futurama).
New topic: Women. Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?
Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)

Source: mirandolaweb

Le pedi a Dios una bicicleta, pero como se que Dios no funciona asi, robe una bicicleta y pedí perdón a Dios.
Homero J. Simpson (via weonindiferente)

(via illustration-ilustracion)

Source: chirimoyotriste

You know, Fry, out of all the friends I’ve ever had… you’re the first.
Bender. (Futurama) (via sodarnquotable)

(via everythingfuturama)

Source: sodarnquotable

Hey! He lied to us through song. I hate when people do that.
Homer Simpson.
A few nights ago we were talking. You know, we hate girls…we wish we were gay…guy stuff
Ted Mosby. (How I Met Your Mother).
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Aldous Huxley (via functionallyilliterate)

Source: functionallyilliterate

Liberty, as we all know, cannot flourish in a country that is permanently on a war footing, or even a near war footing. Permanent crisis justifies permanent control of everybody and everything by the agencies of central government.
Aldous Huxley.

FAVORITE SCRUBS MOMENTS: ONE PER EPISODE
4.07 “My Common Enemy”

(via fyeahscrubs)

Source: myinsanebrain

Call me a killjoy, but I think that because this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it.
Marge Simpson.
It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sand paper.
Hedonism Bot. (Futurama).
  • Homer: New York is a hellhole. And you know how I feel about hellholes.
  • Lisa: Dad, you can't judge a place you've never been to.
  • Bart: Yeah, that's what people do in Russia.
Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream: to kill him, so we don’t have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things.
Zapp Brannigan. (Futurama).